God Bless America?

Every year I look forward to our church's celebration of Veterans' Day. It is among my favorite Sundays of the year. And of course, this year was no different. Our congregation and, especially, Pastor John Loyd did a fabulous job of showing appreciation for the sacrifices that every veteran has made. As one of those veterans, I would like to say thank you to all who spent their Sunday morning honoring a group of men and women who might otherwise feel undeserving of such honor. Pastor John had mentioned during these services that many of the veterans, when asked about their time in the military, would state that their contributions didn’t amount to much, having served during peace time. Even some who had served on the battlefield during war time would dismiss their service as meaningless in the grand scheme of things. This seems to be the nature of the true heroes; not seeking recognition, fame or glory. However, there is something about being prompted just enough to remember and reflect on those days past, without an expectation to elaborate, which seems to be good for the soul of a veteran.

This is what I find so precious in this annual ceremony. A simple “thank you” and seeing (only briefly) my photo, name, time-frame…. maybe my rank, unit and job-title pass by among those of my fellow veterans, a brotherhood of warriors with a common love of country. This is what gives a vet a moment of pride and self worth. It’s not a pride in having served, but a pride in belonging to something bigger than one’s self; and to one another. There was a reception Sunday in our honor, when people were asked to just say thank you and ask us about our experiences. But, my favorite time came after, when all that remained were four veterans; one in his sixties, me in my fifties, another in his thirties and one, still serving, about twenty. We shared a little about where we were and what we did, but mostly, it was just THAT we were…. and are….

Psalm 144:1-2

Praise be to the Lord my Rock,
    who trains my hands for war,
    my fingers for battle.
He is my loving God and my fortress,
    my stronghold and my deliverer,
my shield, in whom I take refuge,
    who subdues peoples^[a] under me.

Finally, among the music of the day was Kate Smith, singing “God Bless America”. Pastor mentioned how some people find this statement to be an audacious request to the Lord by an unworthy people, but he assured us that it was okay to request His blessing. I would like to take that a step further by pointing out that, in the Bible, one of many words which are translated “bless” is “eulogos”, which is the same word from which we get our word “eulogy”. It means “to speak well of”. It is my contention that the phrase, “God bless America”, is a request of God to not only speak well of America, but to cause America to become such a nation that God WOULD speak well of her. That is my prayer on this Veterans’ Evening; that God would place his hand on this nation and cause her to rise up and come into alignment with her creator, and in so doing would BECOME blessed. Amen.

Love And Marriage: Happily Ever After

Here it is… Valentine’s week. So, I thought I’d be daring and tackle the institution of “love”…. More specifically, “marital love”. You may ask, “What’s so DARING about that?” Just read on, and you will see.

I read recently that Candace Cameron Bure (child-star from the TV series, Full House) received much criticism for describing her role in marriage as “submissive” in her new book, Balancing It All: My Story of Juggling Priorities and Purpose. She did a pretty good job of explaining herself in an interview on HuffPost Live, defining submissive as “meekness; …not weakness”. She quoted a passage from 1 Peter 3:1, which says, “ . That’s a great passage, but I prefer to explain the biblical roles of wives, and husbands, using a passage from Ephesians 5:

^“22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. ²³ For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. ²⁴ Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.

²⁵ Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,²⁶ that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, ²⁷ that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. ²⁸ So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. ²⁹ For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. ³⁰ For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. ³¹ “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”³² This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. ³³ Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”

I remember a time when this scripture passage was one of the most quoted during wedding ceremonies. However, our society has shied away from it due to its propensity to offend us in our quest for women’s rights. But, for the most part, those who are offended by these verses probably don’t really understand them. Let me attempt to give you a perspective on them that you may have not seen before.

Let’s begin by addressing the notion that the author, the Apostle Paul, is instructing wives to relinquish their rights to their husbands. This is not the case. Jesus did not remove rights from the church when He made Himself her savior. What He did remove was her responsibility. It was clear that the people were, and are, incapable of paying a debt created by sin. So, Jesus removed the debt by paying it Himself, thereby removing the responsibility to pay that debt. In the same way, Paul’s instruction removes certain responsibility from the wife and places it on the husband.

So, what IS this responsibility? In a word, it’s LOVE. And what is love? No, it’s not an emotion. It’s not something you feel, but something you do. To quote an old DC Talk song, “Luv Is A Verb”. Yes, gentlemen, this means we have to DO something. But what? If love is a verb, and a verb is an action word, then what does that action look like? Let’s let the Ephesians passage address that. I will elaborate.

First, Christ “gave Himself” for the church. He gave up His position, privilege and power. He denied his own needs for the needs of His bride. He takes the blame which would rightfully belong to her upon Himself, finding her faultless and humbling Himself. He cleanses her, making her without spot or wrinkle in His own eyes (He is the judge). Finally He nourishes and cherishes her; providing everything she needs and lavishing her with gifts.

What a woman needs from her husband is to feel safe and secure. This does not necessarily mean she needs to BE safe and secure. The husband has a responsibility to make her feel safe, even in dangerous situations. He needs to make her feel secure… physically, financially and emotionally. She needs to know that he is willing to take care of her in every situation; that she is most important in his eyes. This is not to say that she needs to be cared for, as though she is incapable. It is a matter of the husband’s priorities.

On the other hand, husbands also have needs. Men are generally insecure in themselves. Oh sure, they put on a good front. But if the truth be told, on the inside they continually second-guess themselves and search those around them for confirmation. An old Cheap Trick song puts it this way, “I want you to want me. I need you to need me. I’d love you to love me.” Men are begging for approval.  Encouragement is like the air that we breathe to men, and in the case of a married man, who is given the responsibility of the family’s well-being, a little respect and reassurance goes a long way toward incentivizing him.

I have recently had the incredible honor of addressing two young couples as a part of their wedding events. In each case I spoke on this scripture after the Holy Spirit gave me a picture of what this concept should look like. Without this revelation I would not have been able to effectively communicate this mandate to these newlyweds. The picture looks like this. At some point in their childhood every little girl dreams about what their marriage will be like. They see themselves as some sort of a princess being swept off her feet by the handsome and brave prince. Little boys conversely dream of being the hero, vanquishing the bad guys and winning the admiration of the kingdom and its ladies in waiting. So my advice to these young grooms, to whom I had the opportunity to publicly counsel, was this; “Make your new bride your princess, and she will make you her king…. And it is GOOD to be king”

The concept is pretty simple. If husbands would treat their wives like a princess, serving her with joy and causing her to feel special in every way, and if wives give their husbands every courtesy and honor that they would a king, then a marriage cannot be anything, but an environment where both parties thrive and have the ability to live up to their full potential. And God wants nothing less than that for us. You see, this scripture, which has been given a bad rap, is a recipe for a healthier, happier marriage. Now go and live it out, and be blessed in doing so.

It's Not Complicated

The title for this installment of my Ramblin’s is borrowed from a popular series of television commercials in which a man sits down with a group of kindergarten children to conduct conversations in the style of the late Art Linkletter. Even if you are not old enough to remember Mr. Linkletter, I am sure you are familiar with these commercials that try to convince us that buying insurance doesn’t have to be a royal pain. The company for whom the ads are produced knows something about human behavior. When we are trying to achieve a goal (i.e. purchase insurance), and if we are not confident in the process (i.e. choosing the best deal for our money), we often fail to pull the trigger. In most cases, the same can be said about our sharing of the Gospel. Sometimes we are intimidated, because we are not confident in our knowledge of all that the Bible entails. The Gospel, however is very simple. Here is an over-simplified explanation of the history of God’s relationship with man.

1.       God created man (and a bunch of other stuff)

2.       Man was deceived by Satan and sinned against God

3.       Man continued to be deceived by Satan (and his cronies) and continued to sin against God

4.       God chose a righteous man (Abraham) by whom to build a nation of people to call His own

5.       God gives His people a basic set of rules to live by (Ten Commandments)

6.       Man takes ten simple rules and over analyzes them in an effort to take charge over God’s business (busy bodies)

7.       Man cannot live up to the expectation and begins to offer sacrifices as a covering for sin

8.       Sacrifice is overcomplicated by man and is insufficient, and men begin to judge themselves and each other

9.       Jesus comes to earth to live a sinless life and further simplifies the basic set of rules (Love God, Love one another)

10.   Jesus is rejected by man and offers himself as a perfect sacrifice in order to pay for our sin once and for all

11.   Most men reject the idea of sin and salvation, while those who don’t continue to complicate the whole notion

12.   The “church” splits several times and continues to split over the details of the basic rules

13.   Many do not come to Christ because the “church” can’t seem to get it together.

So, here we are… Dazed… Bewildered… Trapped in a world where righteousness and judgment collide…. We find ourselves floundering in The Conviction Zone. That’s an interesting word, CONVICTION. It has 2 meanings. The first meaning is, “to be judged as guilty”. The second meaning is, “a strong set of beliefs”. It is interesting that within the church we let one meaning morph into the other. We tend to let our beliefs judge us as guilty. Why is that? It is because we cannot live up to our own set of rules, and we are labeled hypocrites.

One Sunday school teacher once told me that I had a problem  “majoring in the minors and minoring in the majors”, meaning that I placed too much importance on the details and not enough on the big picture. As Christians, it is our job to share the Gospel with people, and it is the Holy Spirit’s job to change hearts. So many times we want to do His job. We want to control the details. We want to over-complicate the process. We are called to be witnesses, but we want to “fix” people. We would be much better at OUR job if we would leave the details to the one who KNOWS the details. As for me, I will try to witness more and judge less, thereby displaying God’s mercy and grace to those around me. Please join me. It’s not complicated.

A Season for Giving?

Here we are; deep in the Christmas season. The lights, the decorations, the crowds, the bell ringers, the bulging shopping carts, the gift-wrap, the parties…. They are all around us. This is the season for giving…. Or is it?

 

My own research, weak as it may be, shows that about 20-25% of all giving takes place during the month of December. That leaves about 7% for each of the other months of the year.  Why is this? Well, two of the biggest reasons are “Christmas” and “Taxes”. Many charitable gifts are given during December in order for the givers to have the ability to claim a tax exemption on those gifts within the current tax year. Makes sense, but is that the reason we should give? Others give at Christmas out of a sense of responsibility and the fear of appearing stingy amongst those with whom they celebrate the holiday. I think most of us have given, at one time or another,out of a sense of obligation. Have you ever walked past one of the bell-ringers at the supermarket entrance while trying not to make eye contact? Do we feel guilty when we don’t give? Is that a reason we should give?

 

Let’s take it a step farther. A dear friend took to Facebook this week, wondering if she was the only one going into “semi-panic mode” over the idea that people may not like the Christmas gifts she was about to give them. Another was worried about the idea of “spending fairly”. The entire string of comments addressed the fears and pressures that tend to come with the act of giving gifts at Christmas. However, common as these fears are, they are usually self-inflicted.

 

We are mandated by God to give good gifts to one another, the poor, the sick, widows and orphans. However, this mandate is NOT for the benefit of the recipients of such gifts. Jesus himself declared that we will always have the poor (John 12:8). This suggests to me that giving to the poor is not for the purpose of eliminating poverty on the earth. No, we are to give for our OWN sake…. for the benefit of our own souls. It’s all about the condition of our own hearts. When you give gifts, bear in mind that the affect that the gift has on the recipient is secondary and should be regarded as such.

“Tell them to use their money to do good. They should be rich in good works and generous to those in need, always being ready to share with others. By doing this they will be storing up their treasure as a good foundation for the future so that they may experience true life” – 1Timothy 6:18-19

If you give a gift with good intention, and the recipient is disappointed in the gift, then the flaw is in them. He who keeps books on gift-giving is marred with greed.So give freely. Don’t be stressed in your giving. For, God loves a cheerful giver. Merry Christmas to all of you, and may you be overwhelmed with God’s blessings.